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Monday, June 16, 2014

How long do I have left?

How many years can one live with a broken heart?
one, two, three?...five?... maybe only a few months?
I've been like this for quite a while...
it's been a very tough battle to fight,
and I've managed to hold on... but not for long..
I don't think I'm strong enough anymore..

I've been on the edge several times before;
I've been really close to putting an end to it, but not by winning,
but by waving out my white surrendering... accepting defeat...

Each morning I wake up,
the first thought that always comes to my mind is,
"will today be my last day?",
"is today the day when I'll finally lose my mind and pull the plug?"...

I don't know how much more of this I can take,
I don't know how long my broken heart will keep baring the pain,
but I think the end is near,
I can smell it and almost taste it...
I even dare say I can see it from afar...

I know this is it,
this is the last year I have..
these are my last days...


  1. Ivette! I was where you are now.and i was sure nothing nothing could ever be worth living for.a year later i was do incredibly blissfully happy i never thought possible.and one of these summernights,i was too happy yo exited to sleep i went outside,sat stared into to the blue velvet sky and realized i would have never ever experienced this summer,these people,how my art was appriciated,how much love waa there for me and how beautiful the world if i would have given up a year earlier.i would have missed one of the happiest times of my life.please do not give up. You are part of the beauty of this world.please do not give up!!!

    1. Thanks Lilly!... sometimes I write this stuff...these thoughts... just to get them off my system, to unload the burden... I do it without expecting people to read it nor care... but when I see comments like these, when I meet people like you that truly take the time to read me and advice/comment me... I see hope, I feel a warmth in my heart... thanks a lot, thank you for being there...your words give me comfort... sending you lots of love..hugs!

  2. Excuse the typos! Frantically typing on my phone ignoring spell check

    Lovelovelove,gorgeous girl!

  3. Ese poema tiene algo terrorífico Ivette!
    A veces veo tus fotos y pienso como una chica tan joven y guapa puede sufrir tanto, y por que entre billones de personas que habitan la tierra hay soledad y dolor por el corazon roto. Yo sufrí así una vez pero ya hace tiempo y no veía salida a mi sufrimiento, el mundo parecia ser de color negro, pero un día se acabó! Todo pasa... esa es la moraleja que me ayuda a seguir hacia delante cada día :)

  4. Darling, I pray this is only a beautiful work of poetry and not a cry for help, I am too far away to help ---- :(


  5. sometimes everything is black because we want to see all balck. But we should open the door go out and just smile. First times will be hard but then it will become easier and easier
    Bonjourchiara Facebook Page

  6. Sweetheart know how loved you are. i know that we who love you cannot take the place of some others who don't (who are idiots by they way. Who couldn't love you?) but we are here. Your work is too beautiful to lose, YOU are too lovely to leave this world or give up hope.

    Tightrope to the Sun


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